Foreign while I was in Mexico I watched two documentaries that had such an effect on me I Put them on my list of Mexico episodes and here we are: One of the documentaries was about a tennis player and one of the documentaries was about a writer slash public speaker and I think I put this on my episodes list because the writer and the tennis player embody the two voices that fight inside my head fight for dominance. The first voice is the voice of my natural inclination. the voice of Fran Leibowitz Fran the actual friend, not the one inside my head rights and speaks a great deal about New York City and I think Fran was a huge influence on me moving to New York when I was 23. I read one of her books in college and I remember thinking she is absolutely right and I continue to agree with her point of view on just about everything.

Some of my ideas actually are her ideas. We'll always say New York used to be better and it can't always be true. Okay, now I've been very careful not to do what many people do, which is one of the things when you say something used to be better. That's implicit in that is that.

well, when it used to be better, here's one thing that is always true: you were younger if you ask me was New York better in the 70s I would say absolutely with the caveats that I know that I was in my 20s in the 70s. so I know that it's better to be in your 20s than in your 50s I Used to think that was my idea. Nope, that's friendly. but what's his idea Fran wears a uniform I wear a uniform Fran drives an old car that she's had forever I drive an old car that I'm trying to keep forever.

She's a writer, but she's never learned how to use a computer, never used typewriters. She's never had a cell phone, never used the internet I wish I didn't use computers or cell phones I don't have the guts for it, but my natural inclination is to avoid all of this technology that I'm dependent upon I am really lazy I am the most slothful person in America No one has wasted time more than I have no one I leverage my inherent laziness I don't binge quarts of ice cream because I'm too lazy to go to the store to buy them. And you know I fix things because I'm too lazy to take them in or call someone or go shopping Fran leveraged her laziness. It seems to develop her wonderful point of view to develop her art.

She takes time to observe and to read. She says she spends most of her time reading and that her apartment cost three times what she can afford because she says she has ten thousand books in it, so she's slow. She's observant, she's hilarious, and she's right, but she's not prolific. She's in her 70s, and she's published only three books.

She's sort of never on vacation, but always on vacation. And sometimes I wish that my life was like that. reading: slowness, natural flow. but the other voice in my head Marty won't allow me to just sit around and read all day Marty puts me to work Marty is the voice of Marty Fish Marty Fish was a professional tennis player, which means he was an outstanding tennis player for basically his whole life.

But he wasn't an elite tennis player until very late into his career. and the reason he wasn't an elite player in the beginning according to this documentary is because basically during his early tennis career, he enjoyed himself. He had fun being a pro tennis player. Then at some point during his career he ran Amuk and he decided he wanted to be an elite player.

He stopped having fun and he drove himself, willed himself, built himself into one of the top 10 tennis players in the world, but he lost his mind in doing so. Foreign tennis. and I've never been Elite at anything ever. but I have driven myself mad by working too much in my madness manifests in Anger among other things, screaming, screaming at people, breaking things I've been trying to do this Mexico trip for either two years or eight years.

As soon as I'm done with this video, I can go, but there's something about that that's making this video come really slowly. We've been had sicknesses, I've had a couple like breakdowns from exhaustion and I'm just trying to enjoy enjoy myself I blew my voice out screaming a couple days ago and before leaving for Mexico I was right at the very edge of burnout of Madness maybe I was a month away, burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail, poisoned in the bushes and blown out on the trail and I knew Mexico would be my Shelter From The Storm and I was right while I was down there I happened to watch Untold breaking point and I watched pretend it's a city. you know when you're in that relaxed open State These things like things that affect you, really affect you. So these documentaries really had a profound effect on me and I came to this realization.

The cycle of working like Marty and resting like Fran makes me love both voices better. The purpose of a vacation is to motivate you to do the work you dreaded before taking it. The vacation makes the peace between the two voices even though both voices are right: foreign, foreign, foreign.